Fearful Dog

[Hap100]

My husband and I adopted an adult dog a few months ago. At the time he was very submissive to anyone approaching him (he would lay on the floor and roll over). He made no distinction between men and women. Over the past few months he has lost all fear of me. I can approach him with no issues whatsoever. However, it has gotten progressively worse with my husband. It started out with him just being submissive and rolling over when my husband approached. It has now escalated to him squatting and full on peeing (not just submissive urination) when my husband approaches. The thing is if my husband is sitting on the couch or lying in bed the dog is completely unafraid. He's been trying to approach the dog more slowly and gently but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Has anyone dealt with this and if so would you have suggestions?

[DiggityDogs]

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[ZenTrainer]

It's fairly common for dogs to be more fearful/respectful of men than women. Men are bigger for one thing, and they move about the world in a more physical way. They take long strides, their arms swing wide. Women are taught (without even knowing sometimes) to be more diminutive in their movements.
Submissive urination can be seen as a sign of respect. It sure does prevent a fight. It sends a clear message that the dog doesn't want to tangle.
So I'd make sure your husband isn't inadvertantly sending out signs that he wants to rumble. :-)
Have him avoid eye direct contact, position his body a bit sideways rather than head on, with his head turned slightly. That's a clear "I mean you no harm" signal. (Your husband is doing this when he is sitting on the couch or lying on ther bed.)
Have your husband ignore the dog completely. Nothing is more attractive than someone playing hard to get!
Patricia McConnell has a good booklet about this called "The Cautious Canine".
Give the dog some time and let him come to you.
There are some herbs that can help.
I always use Rescue Remedy with new dogs. It's a flower essence for times of stress. If you Google Bach Flowers you'll find some good sites that give a little paragraph description of the characteristics that go with each flower. For instance Beech helps promote tolerance.
Read through and then pick out 1 or 2 that jump out at you.
I once had a client with a pit bull who was afraid of black men. No one thought at the rescue to ask this white woman if her husband was black, which he was.
The dog wouldn't even eat if the husband was in the house. They were both miserable.
I had the guy pay no attention to the dog except to sit on the couch and watch TV and without looking at or talking to the dog he tossed him bits of chicken.
The husband became more attractive to the dog each day.
For me it's chocolate, but whatever works!

[RobDar]

Zen's suggestions were good ones. We had a badly abused Coonhound who behaved very much the same as your dog. The first thing is to remain patient.
"Ignoring" the dog is a good tactic. Well...not ignoring persay, but making sure your husband treats the dog like he is just not a big deal. When he does speak to the dog, speak in even calm tones. Do not force himself on the dog. The biggest mistake I see people make with frightened dogs is the "Oh its okay boy!" routine. No, actually it is not okay....and when a dog is acting frightened and you baby talk it, telling it is okay...you are not comforting the dog you are actually rewarding him for acting frightened.
If and when the dog does allow your hubby to pet him...pet him under the chin. This is a vunerable spot on a dog and petting him there will show him that your hubby will not hurt him.
Have your husband feed the dog. When the good stuff comes from the big scarey guy...he wont be as scarey.
Have your hubby take the dog for walks.
We have found that obedience training is a good trust builder.