Help through transition - Dog Forums

Nancy · 11-14-2006, 08:19 AM

Any ideas on how to support a dog who is experiencing loss? There are so many people here who rescue, train etc as well as just good parents that I would love to hear some suggestions. I would like to hear comments on behaviors that are supportive and those that are not. I read that you can cause separation anxiety if you reinforce behavior. I'd like some examples on that. (I would request that we avoid discussing whether dogs have emotions so we can stay on course). Thanks.

DiggityDogs · 11-14-2006, 02:55 PM

My best advice is to try to treat your dog as you normally would. If you try to give extra attention or affection you can re enforce the behaviors that he's having. You can create separation anxiety or nervous behaviors by doing so. Most dogs will bounce back pretty quickly if you try to get things back to normal as quickly as possible with them.

Rottweilerlvr · 11-14-2006, 03:05 PM

Dogs sense our emotions, they know when we are happy, sad, depressed, angry, scared, etc etc. If you can hide YOUR depressed emotions from him and walk him, and try to get him and you back to as much of a normal schedule as possible, the better. And listen to Diggity on the extra attention and affection, that's huge, you don't want to do that while ya'll are grieving...

Nancy · 11-14-2006, 04:31 PM

Thanks. I've kept the routines. And definately leave the room when my emotions are out of control. What do you do if they keep coming to you for more affection than they usually want?

Georgie has started eating again and yesterday wagged her tail a few times and even played some. She's coming around. However, she's always been very independent, now she follows me.

Rottweilerlvr · 11-14-2006, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy

What do you do if they keep coming to you for more affection than they usually want?

You should never pet a dog when it comes to you for asking for affection... It will effect the pack balance and dog will start losing respect for you as the leader... Isabella likes to try to intiate affection, and I will tell her to go lie down, and I'll wait 5 minutes or so, then call her to me and I will initiate the love fest...

Nancy · 11-14-2006, 05:37 PM

I make my dogs sit then pat them. She still gets a command and then the reward. Turning her away just seems too harsh right now, but I understand what you're saying. Thanks for the reinforcement (pun intended).

I had a similar issue when I lived in Orlando and one of the dogs was scared of the lightning and thunder. It was roof shaking! It was hard to not want to pick her up and hug her when she started trembling. Worked out that the other dog would go sit with her!

StarfishSaving · 11-14-2006, 09:17 PM

She may miss the extra companionship as much as she misses Annie specifically. Are there other dogs around that you could have playdates with? That might help her cope. Just a thought.

Otherwise I think it sounds like you've got some good advice and that you are doing things right. Don't reinforce the needy behavior and make sure she isn't coming to you because she's insecure- keep her confidence up by working with her on basic obedience, teaching her new things, etc.

Nancy · 11-14-2006, 10:13 PM

Annie was her sister, so she does miss her. We have another dog, a shih tzu who is very playful. Georgie has never been close to her, but they're establishing a new relationship. I'm off work for a couple of weeks so we're taking lots of walks. That's been good for all of us! We're running into a lot of neighbors and other dogs. They both get lots of positive feedback from others.

Today is better for all than yesterday. Thanks everyone!

Nancy · 12-03-2006, 10:04 AM

I wanted to say thanks for the advice back when I needed it. It's been 3 weeks since we lost little Annie. The other dogs are pretty much back to normal. I pretty much followed everyone's advice - didn't change routines, didn't reinforce the neediness, and did a variety of different things with the dogs. It was interesting to see how Georgie's neediness changed when I'd make her follow a command and then reward her. She seemed to feel better. The kids came home for Thanksgiving so there were a lot more people around which helped. Georgie is now tolerating Molly and they do walk together and are somewhat closer. I'm sure this will improve with time.

There are a couple of things that she did with Annie every day that Georgie continues to do...when I would let them outside, the first one out would stop at the bottom of the stairs and wait for the other, then they would take off into the yard together. Georgie still waits but no one is there. If I tell her to go then she will, otherwise she'll keep waiting. Do you think this will just stop with time?

Occ. I find her standing across the room just staring at me. My husband says she does that with him as well. If you call her she just continues to stare. This is new behavior. What do you think that is about?

11-14-2006, 08:19 AM	#1
Nancy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 214	Help through transition Any ideas on how to support a dog who is experiencing loss? There are so many people here who rescue, train etc as well as just good parents that I would love to hear some suggestions. I would like to hear comments on behaviors that are supportive and those that are not. I read that you can cause separation anxiety if you reinforce behavior. I'd like some examples on that. (I would request that we avoid discussing whether dogs have emotions so we can stay on course). Thanks.

11-14-2006, 03:05 PM	#3
Rottweilerlvr Leader of the Pack Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 789	Dogs sense our emotions, they know when we are happy, sad, depressed, angry, scared, etc etc. If you can hide YOUR depressed emotions from him and walk him, and try to get him and you back to as much of a normal schedule as possible, the better. And listen to Diggity on the extra attention and affection, that's huge, you don't want to do that while ya'll are grieving... __________________ Linnea Shirley ================== Countess Isabella de la Rosa, TT, CGC Riddick, Rescued Rottweiler The Fearless Cat, Mr. Kiki ================== Baxter "Always in my Heart" 01/03/00 - 09/07/07 Beloved Rottweiler

11-14-2006, 09:17 PM	#7
StarfishSaving Starfish To the sea ResQ Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: SW PA Posts: 460	She may miss the extra companionship as much as she misses Annie specifically. Are there other dogs around that you could have playdates with? That might help her cope. Just a thought. Otherwise I think it sounds like you've got some good advice and that you are doing things right. Don't reinforce the needy behavior and make sure she isn't coming to you because she's insecure- keep her confidence up by working with her on basic obedience, teaching her new things, etc. __________________ www.starfishtothesea.org Starfish To the sea Animal Rescue All kinds. All heart. Always.

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11-14-2006, 02:55 PM	#2
DiggityDogs Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: ....... Posts: 682	My best advice is to try to treat your dog as you normally would. If you try to give extra attention or affection you can re enforce the behaviors that he's having. You can create separation anxiety or nervous behaviors by doing so. Most dogs will bounce back pretty quickly if you try to get things back to normal as quickly as possible with them.

11-14-2006, 04:31 PM	#4
Nancy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 214	Thanks. I've kept the routines. And definately leave the room when my emotions are out of control. What do you do if they keep coming to you for more affection than they usually want? Georgie has started eating again and yesterday wagged her tail a few times and even played some. She's coming around. However, she's always been very independent, now she follows me.

11-14-2006, 05:37 PM	#6
Nancy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 214	I make my dogs sit then pat them. She still gets a command and then the reward. Turning her away just seems too harsh right now, but I understand what you're saying. Thanks for the reinforcement (pun intended). I had a similar issue when I lived in Orlando and one of the dogs was scared of the lightning and thunder. It was roof shaking! It was hard to not want to pick her up and hug her when she started trembling. Worked out that the other dog would go sit with her!

11-14-2006, 10:13 PM	#8
Nancy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 214	Annie was her sister, so she does miss her. We have another dog, a shih tzu who is very playful. Georgie has never been close to her, but they're establishing a new relationship. I'm off work for a couple of weeks so we're taking lots of walks. That's been good for all of us! We're running into a lot of neighbors and other dogs. They both get lots of positive feedback from others. Today is better for all than yesterday. Thanks everyone!

12-03-2006, 10:04 AM	#9
Nancy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California Posts: 214	I wanted to say thanks for the advice back when I needed it. It's been 3 weeks since we lost little Annie. The other dogs are pretty much back to normal. I pretty much followed everyone's advice - didn't change routines, didn't reinforce the neediness, and did a variety of different things with the dogs. It was interesting to see how Georgie's neediness changed when I'd make her follow a command and then reward her. She seemed to feel better. The kids came home for Thanksgiving so there were a lot more people around which helped. Georgie is now tolerating Molly and they do walk together and are somewhat closer. I'm sure this will improve with time. There are a couple of things that she did with Annie every day that Georgie continues to do...when I would let them outside, the first one out would stop at the bottom of the stairs and wait for the other, then they would take off into the yard together. Georgie still waits but no one is there. If I tell her to go then she will, otherwise she'll keep waiting. Do you think this will just stop with time? Occ. I find her standing across the room just staring at me. My husband says she does that with him as well. If you call her she just continues to stare. This is new behavior. What do you think that is about?